Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Five years ago...

I remember that it was hard to find a place where we could touch her, there were IV lines, monitor lines, tubes, sensors, bandages, her arms were splinted to stop her hitting her head and often there were a lot of people in the room. But I managed to find her little finger, I curled it around mine. "It will be okay, you are okay" I whispered. The nurse heard me, "Don't tell her that" he said, "tell her to fight, she needs to fight, don't let her go, don't let her slip away". So I told you to fight, that you couldn't leave us, that we loved you. " Fight hard" I said, "Stay with us".
That nurse, the one who said "she has to fight"...I can't remember his name. In the blur of sleepless days and nights that followed I forgot it. I can remember other names and faces, doctors and nurses, but I can't remember his.
I can remember that exactly five years ago, he worked all night to keep her with us. That he stayed for three hours after his shift ended because he wanted to make sure she was okay. That he phoned the ward eight hours later to ask how she was. That five years ago she made it through the night because he never gave up on her. Because he told us not to give up on her.
I can't remember his name, but I am forever grateful...especially today, five wonderful years later.
Bianca - 12.00 pm - 15th July 2008

4 comments:

Awake said...

Oh hon - I couldn't even imagine seeing my daughter like that. How scary.

And that nurse - how kind - what an angel for you.

Carol said...

Oh Jodie, I'm ready for work here and now my makeup is starting to run! I didn't realize you went through this with Miss B. How absolutely terrifying. Your journalling on the blog here is terrific, it needs to be on a layout so Miss B can read about your feelings in years to come about how she came to be.

Penelope said...

Yep. Way to get the pregnant woman crying!

You'd better be scrapping that one Jodie.

Anonymous said...

She is one special, totally gorgeous, little girl all right... with a wonderful mother and family too! So glad she is still around to bring you joy